Forgive Forget Accept

I actually started writing this on Saturday morning, but just not got round to finishing it, I was conscious that I’d not posted anything in over a week but with not having the best of weeks it’s delayed me, couple of things went on earlier in the week and I hadn’t realised how much it had affected me, it kind of crept up on me all week chipping away at me

As a result of that, it’s affected lots of things, certainly my mental health and also made me not a very nice person at home, which I hate, me being snappy at everyone with no patience, my head was up my arse all due to a message. Mixed with struggling with a hangover until Wednesday 🤦🏼‍♂️ it’s a week that I was glad to see the back of and went in to the weekend more positive, clearer, happier, focused with things in place 😊

I think the little set back has made me reflect on a few things. Not going right back to what happened in my childhood with the abuse and stuff, but more with looking forward with what and who actually makes me happy, being kind to myself

Drinking certainly doesn’t help, I’d say I’m a happy drunk and not one to dwell on things or thoughts when I have had a drink, but alcohol can be a depressive and massively drops our guard, I think it’s the hangover period that gets me, I enjoy myself when I’m out or at home drinking and I know when to stop now, many years ago was a different story though. I did drink to try and forget and mask what was going on in my head, looking back now that only made it worse, that recovery period after drinking was so much worse, it’s like you’re torturing yourself, I could drink and be happy to a certain point, then it would go badly, the tears, I used to cry so much, remembering what happened, how it could have happened, why wasn’t somebody there to protect me as a child, why didn’t my awful mother protect her son, so many questions and hurt. Thankfully now after the treatment I had, my mind doesn’t go to those places as much, or when it does I’m able to shelve it and say to myself I’m not giving the disgusting c***s the time or space in my head

I didn’t go there earlier in the week after what had happened, it just knocked me, and ate away at me deep down. I was hurt, again, annoyed, angry and a little lost, again. And it certainly messed my week up

But then after chatting with my wife and my very good friend on Thursday evening, it was time to get the chin up and start practicing what I’m always preaching. Apparently I’m very good at telling others to talk but also very good at burying my head in the sand when I’m struggling. My friend has been there from day one, he spotted the signs along with my wife last year and before. The support from him towards myself and my wife and kids was second to none. He was the only other person I spoke to other than my wife while I was away in hospital for so long. He’d always say when anything happened since being home, it was just a bump in the road, and I wasn’t going back to square one, so true! He wouldn’t let me and I didn’t want to, better more, I now knew what I had to do to get back up. Thanks pal, you know who you are ❤️👌🏻

A saying cropped up there other day, sure someone had mentioned it when I was away in Bristol. ‘Forgive Forget Accept’

When you break those down, ‘Forgive’ that’s never going to happen really, they don’t deserve to be forgiven, how can anybody forgive what happened. I’m a pretty forgiving person, but there’s a line. ‘Forget’ I suppose in time the memories will have less impact with the treatment I’ve had, will never forget but I’m working everyday on dealing with it. ‘Accept’ out of the three words, that’s the one I’m coming to terms with. I’ve now accepted what happened has happened and there’s nothing I can change about that, I’m a massive believer in things happening for a reason, albeit what happened to me shouldn’t have as sexual abuse really shouldn’t be happening to anybody, and never to a child. But it happened to me, and now I’m making a positive out of it, I’m hopefully helping other lads, other men, other people to come forward and talk! I accept what happened to me, I’m dealing with it, I believe it happened to me for a reason, it’s led me to meeting some amazing people, it’s led me to setting up Andys Man Club in Leigh, hopefully lots of men to talk, and it’s now led me to this. Most of all, I hope it’s made my wife and kids realise that they’re enough for me to want to be alive 😊 ❤️

I want to finish on something I heard on Friday morning. Stuck with me, lyrics to Liam Gallaghers song. ‘Remember you belong to be here just as much as anyone, you’re to good for giving up’ 😊😊 Love that 🙌🏻👌🏻

Thanks for taking the time to read 😊🙌🏻

8 thoughts on “Forgive Forget Accept

    1. Thanks Simone I hope you have a great week too 😊
      We have to be persistent don’t we, I’ll never give up in wanting to get more men to come forward and talk 🙌🏻

      1. That’s amazing! The world needs more people like you. Who use their pain to help others.. I’m sorry for what you went through.. I feel that sexual abuse for men isn’t so often discussed as it is for woman.
        You are an inspiration to many!

      2. Thanks Simone, I’m more than happy now to talk about the abuse and stuff I went through, I want to talk about it, share it, I now accept it, and I’m hoping in me talking about it I can encourage other men to talk 🙏🏼😊

  1. Thanks for sharing this Simon although you don’t see it your strength is incredible. I am gutted to hear what you were put through. You can’t change the past but you can continue to influence others here and now and that is so powerful! Keep writing and inspiring! You have been inspiring us for years before we even knew what you were going through! It’s always been in you!

Leave a Reply